What to give up for Lent
Fresh ideas new and remixed
“What should I give up for Lent?” I was simply thinking out loud, talking to myself, not looking for a response.
But my daughter didn't hesitate to share her idea about what I should give up.
Every year, people wonder what to give up for Lent.
But if we’re looking for ideas, how logical and common sense to ask the people we live with (or ones who know us well) who surely have a load of ideas for us. They might be hoping we’ll ask.
In response to my question, my daughter said, “Give up one-upping.”
My reply: “I do that?” — A ridiculous question because if someone you live with says you do, then, of course, you do.
One-upping is when somebody says they had a terrible day, and you say something like, “You think you had a bad day, let me tell you about my day...
I thought of my father-in-law who, whenever anyone mentions a hardship, boasts about how he walked to school uphill, both ways (It seems many older generations did that!)
Then, I thought of the time after my mom passed away; a lady whose mother had passed the year before, said, “Now you know how it feels.” Dumbfounded, I resolved never to say something hurtful like that to someone, ever.
Was hers just a different version of one-upping? Maybe.
My version of one-upping, that I didn’t see as one-upping: “Don’t complain about not having a newer cell phone or the latest fashion, because let me tell you how poor I was at your age… Now THAT’s poor.”
My good intention for reminding my children about being grateful, when not presented under the right circumstances and timing is at best, NOT helpful.
… put on the new self, which is being renewed, for knowledge, in the image of its creator.
Col 3:10
In addition to asking people who know you best what to give up, here are some other ideas for a meaningful Lent:
(1) Give up something + do something.
Love not only wants to stop hurting the One who is unconditional love, but also to embrace the One who gives up everything for us. This combo is a bogo.
How about a combo deal of stop criticizing + (After a driver does something crazy on the road, do you look into their car for a mental mugshot to put them in driver jail? These days it's harder to see inside cars because of tinted windows), Sooo
bless the crazy driver instead.
Plus, your kids are watching (and taking notes on what you should give up for Lent).
It’s easy to find combos to mix and match of what-to-give-up plus to-do for Lent. Some synergistic duos:
Distractions: stop/minimize playing games on the phone + read the bible or join a bible study
Self-absorption: stop talking about yourself — only talk about yourself when asked a direct question + donate your time or money
Consumerism: avoid buying anything unnecessary + declutter and donate what you don’t use to charity
Show me your ways, LORD, teach me your paths. Psalms 25:4
(2) Ask God what your Lent should look like and listen.
Many times the practice of listening to God, the things to give-up/ to-do present themselves through something heard or read that stays with you announcing pick me, I’m for you.
I’ve had many Lents with the same assignment as prior years. I’m not saying I’m stubborn or dense – just observing the deja vu, the familiar scenery.
Because we live in cycles and through the repeat of days, weeks, months, years, Lent growth spurts are seldom one-and-done. God gives us lessons multiple times because we leak Holy Spirit air. Each time we cooperate, we retain more air and inflate with others-centeredness.
Some past things that may be worth a repeat performance:
Complaining : One fruitful year I gave up complaining and then complained about how hard it was to give up complaining, which made me realize how much I complain. I always remember that Lent and now I complain so much less.
Gratitude: Hand-in-hand with not complaining is the gratitude journal I took up and recruited my family to participate in. They groaned but offered up their gratitude to be written into the journal. Nowadays, they don't mind the gratitude journal and reading our past entries is like looking at old photographs with amusement and nostalgia.
Rend your hearts, not your garments, and return to the Lord, your God. Joel 2:13
(3) Check in
It's easy to lose sight of the purpose of Lent and turn it into a self-improvement project or make it about ourselves. It’s self-improvement but it’s so much more.
Checking in with the Source keeps the spiritual renewal in Lent and reminds us of its purpose.
My way of checking-in: Because my love language is quality time. I visualize keeping Jesus company in His 40 days in the desert. Sometimes I’m hungry and thirsty, and the sand is hot, but I have sandals because Jesus gave me His. We're silent, side-by-side.
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My best Easters were Lents with big goals that someone other than I came up with and that taught me about myself; where my meager offerings kept company with the source of all good, making for a glorious resurrection feast.
Prayers for a wonderful 40 days!
These are such great suggestions. I need to adopt all of them!